9 Years Later...

The title of this post is meant to sound like the spongebob meme (visualize that haha I'm such a nerd).

Well. Where do I begin? I'll start with the fact that it had to have been absolute fate that I found my blog account again. Lately I've been going through the usual "who are you?" mindset. You know, the mindset where you realize that you're facing a setback in life and so you start to question everything little thing in humanity until you drive yourself absolutely insane...yea. That one. So I find it amazing to have had the opportunity to read through my old posts and see where I was in life then... Where my life has changed and even where it hasn't changed. Some of my posts kind of made it seem like I was some kind of fortune teller for my life because it came true! (I wont include what has and what hasn't). It's amazing what recording your thoughts will do when you're trying to figure it all out.

To organize my thoughts a little, I'll split this post in to categories.

Here we go:

Post Undergraduate:

 I  found the love of my life. My dog, Bentley. He's a gentle Jack Russel mix who is kind, and crazy and active.

Lot's of other significant things happened...but this Benny is the most important part of my growth after graduating college. He pulled me through a lot of hard times, and pulled me out of my shell. He's the reason I started walking, being more outgoing and making more friends. If you dont have a pet, I recommend it. 

Love:

I left Vegas chasing after love. My love. My Boo. Moved clear across the world, to a little bitty rickety apartment that shakes when the train goes by. Iconic right? Steve is highly opinionated, vocal, very vocal, incredibly smart, sometimes too smart for his own good, he's a pusher and a chaser, and has a great poker face. I cant stand him 90% of the time, but the other 10% I absolutely adore him. He's MINE!That's how I know I love him lol Especially because he handles my mood swings and weird statements and standards like a champ! BONUS, he binge watches ratchet tv with me.

I am very patient in some parts of our relationship and that has been the biggest change in my search for love. I think a big part of the dynamic that we have is that we are both learning real life lessons. For example, how to compromise, how to stick it out when we have disagreements, money management, learning to love ourselves and be in a relationship at the same time, how important addressing your mental health is, best of all, what hard work goes in to creating a family unit. I think I'll keep him. I think I'll keep working at our love, with him of course.

Living Life:

So there you have it. It's somewhat of an update, I'm sure I have left out many, many details. But for now, you should know that we are living life. One day at a time. In this pandemic.I currently work for a pretty awesome nonprofit,I am working on my master's degree, got my own place (with Steve), I am far from all of my family and friends, and I am back to square one. You know, back to that whole "who the hell am I"concept, except, this is the 30's version of it. Who will I become in my 30's? Some things that I can honestly say that I wish to become is a more confident person, a person with more humility and more curiosity. I am still not sure if I want to become a mother (I'll save those chaotic thoughts for another post), but I know for sure, that I crave the feeling of family, what ever that may look like, I want it. I want to become someone who remembers Jesus in difficult times, and when I am faced with adversity.

I know no one is out there reading this. But I hope that if there is someone reading, that they find solace in the fact that they are not alone in this thing called life. We're all trying to figure it out. and Hey, if need be, I'll do it with you!